“Whether as taxpayers or consumers, pretty much everyone in Britain is now human feedstock for Big Capital. This may not be how you see yourself. After all, you’re a customer and in our dynamic, choice-stuffed markets the customer is king. Except that the propaganda doesn’t match reality.” Aditya Chakrabortty asks what Britain is actually for.
“The Tories last year voted against a housing bill, right, this bill, it wasn’t asking much, it wasn’t attempting to turn Buckingham Palace into temporary housing for sex offenders. It was suggesting that private landlords have a legal obligation to ensure their properties are fit for human habitation. What sort of fucker votes against that? I wonder how many of the seventy Tory MPs, who are also private landlords, voted against that, including David Cameron? I’ll give you a clue: it was all of them!” Jonathan Pie, played by British actor Tom Walker, suggests that a healthy UK economy would need to do more than to create an environment in which only the wealthy do well.
“Back when we were fewer there was a glorious freedom in dancing through the traffic, whose rules and logic we learned so well that it often felt like a benevolent force, sheltering us as much as it threatened us. We were the pilot fish darting in among the sharks, the gazelles sprinting through herds of lumbering bison.” Requiring only two sentences, Emily Chappell manages to capture the essence of cycling in London before Boris Bikes and cycle superhighways.
“Worldwide Awards 2015 went down on Saturday January 17th at Koko London, with live performances from Adrian Younge and Bilal, Dorian Concept Trio, Taylor McFerrin, Melanie De Biasio, The Heliocentrics with Sunra members Marshall Allen and Noel Scott, Fatima and The Eglo Band, and Anushka! And that’s just the live bands! On the DJ tip, we had Lil Silva, Lone, Seven Davis Jr, Alex Patchwork, Skinny Macho, Clap! Clap!, Atjazz and more holding it down on the decks throughout the night.”
“Today, we’ve been so inculcated with fear and distracted by obligations and consumer junk, we can’t even be bothered to ask why numerous miles of warm, fluorescently lit tunnels under Chancery Lane are laying mothballed while people with no homes freeze to death on the streets above them—forced to sleep in hypothermic conditions by anti-homeless spikes installed on ledges outside shops, luxury flats and offices.” Bradley Garrett regards urban exploration as an apathy killer, spreading stories that help us perceive worlds other than the ones presented to us.
“The Atheist Bus Campaign began when Ariane Sherine wrote an article in June 2008 about Christian adverts running on London buses. These ads featured the URL of a website which said non–Christians would burn in hell for all eternity. Ariane suggested that atheists reading her article could each donate £5 to fund a reassuring counter–advert.”
Update: Christian religious groups are about to respond with ads stating that “there definitely is a god”.
“Cycling in London is an extreme sport, little safer than base jumping. A journey begins with trepidation and ends with me slightly high that I’m still alive.” Janice Turner does not depend on timetables or traffic. On two wheels, she enjoys the pleasure of knowing exactly what time she’ll arrive.